Reality Check :)

Okay, so this is actually something I wrote for a class . . . The topic was "why are people with mental illnesses treated so harshly?"
In my opinion, people with mental illness have been treated in such harsh ways is because, until recently, their illness cannot be explained in a way that everyday people can understand.

Mental illness is an invisible disability. As far as people are concerned, if a person doesn't act in a way that their family, friends or peers feel is appropriate . . . those groups of people try to rationalize why the person is acting in that way. Since they aren't dealing with a visible disability, the peers, family and friends have to create a context that will allow them understand how to help the person. For example, if a diabetic were acting disoriented and having trouble responding to questions, unreasonably silly or maybe quick to anger a person who is familiar with their diagnosis may ask that diabetic person it they need to test their blood, get them something to eat rectifying the situation. Whereas if that same diabetic were pulled over by a cop, the cop might submit the person to a breathalyzer test before anything else, assuming the person was drunk.

If I walked into an ER with the same symptoms and they found out about my illness, they would probably attribute it to my illness without even thinking (for whatever reason) I might have a low blood sugar. When a person with mental illness has the same problem . . . because there is no real way for their peers, family, friends or even doctors and counselors to immediately help, they feel inadequate and want to blame it on something, but can only blame it on the illness. Medically speaking, there is no immediate gratification for helping someone with a mental illness. There isn't even immediate gratification for the person with the illness to get treatment since it takes at least two weeks to a month for current medicines to BEGIN working . . . if they are on the right meds.

Because the large majority of the world is able to change their own perspective and motivation by merely thinking about it and resolving to change, they assume everyone can do it the same way. When people with chemical imbalances come into play (creating a more difficult barrier to change), those who can change their life by simply resolving to do so can't understand or explain why others without that ability don't simply resolve to do so. The person without the chemical imbalance thinks to themselves, shaking their head at the mentally ill person, “All you have to do is think positively and you’ll be happy! Focus on the positive! Focus on your gratitude! Focus on the happy things! Do that and you’ll feel better, I do!” I mean it IS difficult for nonchemically challenged people to change their thinking and at times find motivation sufficient to do things. However because it’s difficult for the nonchemically challenged to recognize and change their behavior, they assume all others live with that same level of difficulty. It isn't the same level. The chemical imbalance makes thinking positively and rationally extremely more difficult. Although thinking positively can help anyone to some degree, it takes a LOT more work than simply thinking positive thoughts to help people with a mental illness. I don't want to discredit the importance of positive thoughts alone, but they do not have the same impact for someone with a chemical imbalance and therefore cannot work as effectively as they do for people without a chemical imbalance.

It's kind of like in that previous example with the diabetic. I cannot walk up to a diabetic and tell them to think "raise my blood sugar" over and over again with any medically significant change. If anything, telling them to do that is wasting precious time where I really should be looking for some juice or sugar to help before they get into worse trouble.

It's difficult internal battle for a person experiencing symptoms of mental illness. Frequently people with a diagnosable mental illness don't seek treatment because they grew up learning the enitre "mind over matter" concept. Believing that if they changed their perspective and worked harder they could accomplish anything on their own.

For example, when I started becoming more clear in thought, my parents said they recognized a huge change in my level of gratitude. They’ve told me on more than one occasion that the reason I am better is because I started having an attitude of gratitude, instead of focusing so much on what I didn’t have. Really, I had made lists and lists of things that I was grateful for throughout the 12 years of my intense illness. I could make lists all day and all night of the things for which I was grateful. In an effort to believe it, I could make (and did make) lists of why I should not kill myself. However, no matter how long those lists grew, it didn’t turn off the woman’s voice in my head telling me nothing on that list outweighed or even remotely offset the level of my burden to those around me who would be much happier, better off and relieved if I were gone. I had a chemical imbalance. Rationality didn’t work.
When rational thought doesn't work, people around who have no problem with rational thought are baffled and ultimately scared.

If you were out for an evening run and glanced at a person farther the street, you would have no way to know if that person had a mental illness. Let's say they were well dressed and groomed pacing, appeared agitated and talking aloud to no one you could see. You would probably just assume they had a bad day and were talking to someone on their bluetooth phone about it. However, if the person wasn't well kept and in the same situation, you would assume they are mentally ill and quickly cross the street to avoid them. Forget the fact that in either case the person really is upset and talking to a real someone. Maybe the well dressed person is talking to a very real hallucination and the unkept person missed his flight, had to sleep over at the airport the night before and is angry at the prospect of doing it again while trying to schedule his next flight . . . on his bluetooth!

People treat others harshly because they don't take the time to understand them. Plain and simple.
What do you think?

-MOPS

p.s. I really like bluetooth ear buds because now it's completely acceptable for people to talk aloud when no one is around them. Unconsciously, I do it all the time. LOL!

The List

My dad gave me the advice (twice) to make a gratitude journal. I have been working on it. He said that when I am feeling bad I should review it . . . perhaps hourly. So, since I am feeling completely terrible right now I have decided to transfer my log to this post.
1. I am grateful for my parents.
2. I am grateful for my doctors and my counselor.
3. I am grateful I can read.
4. I am grateful for my lifetime of great friends.
5. I'm grateful I don't smoke or drink and never have.
6. I'm grateful for my glasses.
7. I am grateful for my grandparents and that I have had the opportunity to get to know them.
8. I'm grateful my Grandpa is a Sealer and I hope that one day I will find a great, loving, nonjudgmental, priesthood holder that my Grandpa can Seal me to.
9. I'm grateful for the people who work on CAP 2. (That's the hospital unit I am usually sent to.)
10. I am grateful I have my own room.
11. I'm grateful I can volunteer in Senora Alvarez's 2nd grade class.
12. I'm grateful that I have a bus pass.
13. I am grateful and miss David and Judy Peterson and pray that they will be safe and have fun on their mission in Madagascar.
14. I'm grateful for my friendships and admire my professors from BYU, Dean Hughes, Colleen Whitley and Don Norton.
15. I'm grateful for my mom and all she tries and does for me. I wish I could communicate with her better.
16. I'm grateful for my dad and that he holds the Priesthood and I wish that I could communicate with him better, too.
17. I'm grateful that I had a car and the freedom that went with it for as long as I did.
18. I'm grateful for my new Bishop and his wife, who's my visiting teacher.
19. I'm grateful for my brothers, Klint and Jeff and for their wives and all their healthy kids.
20.I'm grateful that Sharla and Jeff are expecting!
21. I'm grateful for the strength that I have for having gone through the temple and pray that I can remember it and hold onto it so that I won't get suicidal anymore.
22. I'm grateful for Heavenly Father and wish I could be with him.
23. I'm grateful that Christ died for each of us, so that not only can we be resurrected but He also understands us and gives us the opportunity to take the Sacrament.
24. I'm grateful for President Monson, his counselors and the Quorum of the 12.
25. I'm grateful for my patriarchal blessing and wish that I could understand it better and take comfort in it.
26. I'm grateful I have comfortable shoes.
27. I'm grateful for my bike and that I get to ride it.
28. I'm grateful for the people who work at this house who drive me almost everywhere.
29. I'm grateful that I fought on the right side in the pre-existence and made it to this world to be tested. My test is HARD. I don't understand it and it frustrates me to no end . . . but the Father trusts me enough to give it to me and I WILL pass this test!
30. I'm grateful for my mission president, President Hanks and his wife, Sister Hanks and their testimonies.
31. I believe I will find the man of my dreams in this life and be sealed and have a family.
32.I am grateful for Carol Beachley and all she's taught me as a Laurel advisor. I'm grateful I could help her with her paper route. I'm grateful she got me involved in ASL. I'm grateful for all the rides she gave me growing up. I'm grateful for her nonjudgmental ways and I'm grateful that she took care of me and my brothers so often growing up when my parents went out of town---along with all her kids.
33. I'm grateful when I have a good perspective and strive to have one more often.
34. I'm grateful when I can see the hand of the Lord in my life.
35. I'm grateful I'm not persecuted for being a member of the church.
36. I'm grateful when I have the ability to make good decisions and do.
37. I'm grateful for my Aunt Chris and her family. I'm grateful for all the rides she's given me and for her willingness to understand me.
38. I'm grateful to those who give me a hug when I go to church.
39. I'm grateful to Sue and for her willingness to cook for us.
40. I'm grateful that I got to go to Young Women's Camp Milabee and for all the fun I had learning the lessons, getting to know the leaders and singing my heart out. (And I wish I could remember the songs.)
41. I'm grateful I got to go to Ricks and BYU and graduate from both.
42. I'm grateful I was accepted to a great MFA in Creative Writing and wish that I had the funds to do it. But will probably do it later in life.
43. I'm grateful for Elder and Sister North and for their love and rides.
44. I am grateful for family home evening.
45. I'm grateful I learned the Cha-Cha last Monday night with some really great partners.
46. I'm grateful for my meds and wish that they worked better.
47. I'm grateful for all the vacations I have gone on and hope to continue to see the world.
48. I'm grateful I can speak Spanish and know American Sign Language.
49. I'm grateful that I have been keeping a journal for so long since I have a rotten memory.
50. I'm grateful that I served a mission in Dallas, Texas---met so many wonderful people and helped several gain testimonies of Christ and get baptized or reactivated.
51. I'm grateful for the scriptures and plan on reading them more often.
52. I'm grateful I got to work at the temple here in San Diego as an Ordinance Worker and also in the recording office and in the laundry.
53. I'm grateful for my letter from President Monson.
54. I'm grateful I got to go to EFY so many times and share my testimony with my friend who later became baptized and sealed in the temple to a wonderful husband and great kids.
55. I'm happy for all the times I was able to pull a prank on a friend . . . and laugh with them about it.
56. I'm grateful I have short hair that I really don't have to worry about.
57. I'm grateful for all the times I got to have a friend spend the night, stay up talking and stregthen our friendship. I miss that.
58. I'm grateful for friends who call or write me an email just to see how I'm doing.
59. I'm grateful I have a dentist.
60. I'm grateful for all the good books I've read.
61. I'm grateful for all my seminary teachers, religion teachers, primary teachers, Sunday School teachers and Young Womens' advisors.
I'll continue this later.

There is a student in the class that I am volunteering at and he has a hard time too. I told him about my list and even let him read some of it. I told him to make his own list. We started it together with things like: his grandma's cooking, his skateboard, his laptop and a list of about 15 things. We're both working on feeling better. I hope his list helps him out.

Until later, MOPS