I am slightly amused because I am living in this group home and Sat. morning I am given a roll of toliet paper by the owners. I am told this is MY roll of toliet paper and I'm not to be using anyone else's roll. Evidently the FIVE women who use the ONE bathroom have been going through the TP TOO FAST! Hmmm . . . so we were all given our own roll. Tonight I'm left to wonder what will happen if I run out of toliet paper before the owner thinks I should (for example we only get one galllon of milk for 6 people and it is supposed to last us a month! If we finish it early we don't get another gallon until the next month. Or the peanut butter, if the 6 of us finish that within 2 months we don't get another thing of peanut butter for an additional 2 months.) So what's up with the toliet paper?
I told this to a friend of mine and he said it reminded him of a Sienfiled episode "can you spare a square?" or "The Stall." That made me laugh a bit. When I told my former 4th/5th grade teacher's family about it they thought it was hilarious! The wife ran and got me a roll from her cupboard so I won't have to start collecting leaves or something incaqse I use more than I should and not be given another roll until late next month.
Until later, MOPS
About Me
- Sarah
- I was born and raised in San Diego. Currently I'm a grad student at SDSU (class of 2013) studying Rehabilitation Counseling to help people with disabilities get the accessability and accomodations they need to achieve their potential! I'm an alum of Helix High, Rick's College & BYU. Yes, I'm a Mormon & I served a mission in The Texas Dallas Spanish/ASL Mission. Although it wasn't always true, I'm now successfully living with Schizoaffective Disorder. I've been blessed with a great family and many friends. Enjoy!
Showing posts with label Loma Residential. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Loma Residential. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Venting
Prior to moving in to Loma Residential, the owners assured me a vegetarian diet, rides to & from all of my appointments, a regular haircut and a bus pass. But unfortunately, they completely lied. Last night my counseling appointment wasn't until 7pm and Mike, the owner, said it was too late---even though he'd known about the appointment for 3 weeks or more. So, I missed the appointment and wasn't able to reschedule it . . . until a month from now.
Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment in La Mesa. It's four blocks from my parents house. Mary, the lady who works for Mike was taking me to the appointment but at the spur of the moment said she couldn't pick me up afterwards. I thought maybe I could walk to mom and dad's house afterwards, maybe hang out a while to postpone returning to this place as long as I possibly could. I thought maybe they'd be willing to take back. But when the owner found out my plan, he called my mom and dad and forbade them the take me home because I need "to learn independence." Gee. After living serving a mission in Dallas and living out of state for nearly 10 years . . . graduated with my bachelors, started my Masters . . . cooked, grocery shopped, cleaned, played, went to church, drove provided my own transportation everywhere by walking, driving or ride my bike everywhere . . .I need to learn independence? It's called using your resources. What do they think I am STUPID? So I looked up San Diego public transit but the San Diego bus Internet site doesn't include La Mesa even though buses and trolleys go through the city all the time. OH I'M SO MAD! So I called the transit line and all they do is give bus or trolley or coaster routes. None of them mixed like taking the bus to the trolley and then getting on another bus and nothing in La Mesa. MY LIFE SUCKS AND I HATE LIVING IT!
So, just so I can "make my own decisions and be independent," forget the San Diego Transit! Mike hasn't bought me a monthly bus pass since I moved in here! I'm going to get some exercise and ride my bike from near the College area to La Mesa blvd. It's only a seven mile round-trip. Who cares if I die of a heart attack because my heart rate gets too elevated due to exercise (thanks to one med I took which caused tachycardia). I certainly don't care!
Since I was diagnosed with something in March of '98 I have always taken all my meds as prescribed---everyday. I've never self medicated with drugs or alcohol. I've always tried to make good decisions as best I possibly can, yet my life is CRAP! I don't even remotely do any of the things that many other Bipolar or schizophrenic people do. I don't sell my body or have multiple sex partners. I've been having ECT since Dec. 2007! Nearly weekly if not more often! Now I can't even remember working at the temple or going out with Judy for ice cream unless I wrote about it in my journal. Even then I don't remember it. I just read about it in my journal and think, "huh, I wrote it . . . I guess it's true." I can't remember my mission, I can't remember going to BYU or Ricks. My education is completely lost! Now I'm stuck at this horrible group home where all who live here do all day is watch TV and fight about changing channels. Oh that's productive! That really teaches them how to live with their illnesses! It really teaches them independence! I HAVE TO MOVE somewhere I won't be around people who think I need to learn independence & learn how to take care of myself. When I'm really sick, I know it! I call my Dr or my nurse or I go to the hospital. Most people who have my illness don't even recognize that they are ill. Many don't know how to take care of themselves. They quit taking their meds after a month or two because they either feel better or the meds aren't working so what's the point?
I'm jealous of my brothers and their families. They can remember their education. They found the woman of their dreams and have silly kids. I'm know they have their own trials . . . but they don't involve suicidal voices, intrusive thoughts, depression, living under someone else's roof and not having the liberty to leave when they want. They can choose what they want for a meal. If they want a glass of milk they won't get in trouble for it---because they have more than ONE gallon per month for 8 people! Yeah, that's getting my calcium content for the day/week/month.
I've had so much ECT I can't remember what I learned on my mission---if I learned anything and I can only kind of remember high school. Before that . . . it's spotty. My prayers go completely unheard and unanswered. It's useless. My in patient Dr and the owner of this house, Mike, are completely controlling my life. Mike thinks I'm such a sicko that I have to give Mike 24 hours notice before I go anywhere---even with my family. He's like the evil step-dad I never had. What's worse, my mom and dad think everything my Dr or Mike says is right and should be followed to the "t". They can't even make decisions on their own . . . so why allow me? I tell them that I don't want ECT any more because it's not working and my mom says, "but you have a smile on your face and you took a shower!" Oh yeah, that's how I look everyday! They all must think I am the most stupid, imbecilic, incapable person to ever have existed mortally. They feel they can judge my capacity by my immediate appearance! So what if I've cried myself to sleep nearly every single night for the past several weeks? They don't even notice the good things I do or even my life compared to someone else who has this illness. Gee, I wonder if I started living like others both who I know or have read about if my parents would realize how good they had it when I was living my standards!-MOPS
Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment in La Mesa. It's four blocks from my parents house. Mary, the lady who works for Mike was taking me to the appointment but at the spur of the moment said she couldn't pick me up afterwards. I thought maybe I could walk to mom and dad's house afterwards, maybe hang out a while to postpone returning to this place as long as I possibly could. I thought maybe they'd be willing to take back. But when the owner found out my plan, he called my mom and dad and forbade them the take me home because I need "to learn independence." Gee. After living serving a mission in Dallas and living out of state for nearly 10 years . . . graduated with my bachelors, started my Masters . . . cooked, grocery shopped, cleaned, played, went to church, drove provided my own transportation everywhere by walking, driving or ride my bike everywhere . . .I need to learn independence? It's called using your resources. What do they think I am STUPID? So I looked up San Diego public transit but the San Diego bus Internet site doesn't include La Mesa even though buses and trolleys go through the city all the time. OH I'M SO MAD! So I called the transit line and all they do is give bus or trolley or coaster routes. None of them mixed like taking the bus to the trolley and then getting on another bus and nothing in La Mesa. MY LIFE SUCKS AND I HATE LIVING IT!
So, just so I can "make my own decisions and be independent," forget the San Diego Transit! Mike hasn't bought me a monthly bus pass since I moved in here! I'm going to get some exercise and ride my bike from near the College area to La Mesa blvd. It's only a seven mile round-trip. Who cares if I die of a heart attack because my heart rate gets too elevated due to exercise (thanks to one med I took which caused tachycardia). I certainly don't care!
Since I was diagnosed with something in March of '98 I have always taken all my meds as prescribed---everyday. I've never self medicated with drugs or alcohol. I've always tried to make good decisions as best I possibly can, yet my life is CRAP! I don't even remotely do any of the things that many other Bipolar or schizophrenic people do. I don't sell my body or have multiple sex partners. I've been having ECT since Dec. 2007! Nearly weekly if not more often! Now I can't even remember working at the temple or going out with Judy for ice cream unless I wrote about it in my journal. Even then I don't remember it. I just read about it in my journal and think, "huh, I wrote it . . . I guess it's true." I can't remember my mission, I can't remember going to BYU or Ricks. My education is completely lost! Now I'm stuck at this horrible group home where all who live here do all day is watch TV and fight about changing channels. Oh that's productive! That really teaches them how to live with their illnesses! It really teaches them independence! I HAVE TO MOVE somewhere I won't be around people who think I need to learn independence & learn how to take care of myself. When I'm really sick, I know it! I call my Dr or my nurse or I go to the hospital. Most people who have my illness don't even recognize that they are ill. Many don't know how to take care of themselves. They quit taking their meds after a month or two because they either feel better or the meds aren't working so what's the point?
I'm jealous of my brothers and their families. They can remember their education. They found the woman of their dreams and have silly kids. I'm know they have their own trials . . . but they don't involve suicidal voices, intrusive thoughts, depression, living under someone else's roof and not having the liberty to leave when they want. They can choose what they want for a meal. If they want a glass of milk they won't get in trouble for it---because they have more than ONE gallon per month for 8 people! Yeah, that's getting my calcium content for the day/week/month.
I've had so much ECT I can't remember what I learned on my mission---if I learned anything and I can only kind of remember high school. Before that . . . it's spotty. My prayers go completely unheard and unanswered. It's useless. My in patient Dr and the owner of this house, Mike, are completely controlling my life. Mike thinks I'm such a sicko that I have to give Mike 24 hours notice before I go anywhere---even with my family. He's like the evil step-dad I never had. What's worse, my mom and dad think everything my Dr or Mike says is right and should be followed to the "t". They can't even make decisions on their own . . . so why allow me? I tell them that I don't want ECT any more because it's not working and my mom says, "but you have a smile on your face and you took a shower!" Oh yeah, that's how I look everyday! They all must think I am the most stupid, imbecilic, incapable person to ever have existed mortally. They feel they can judge my capacity by my immediate appearance! So what if I've cried myself to sleep nearly every single night for the past several weeks? They don't even notice the good things I do or even my life compared to someone else who has this illness. Gee, I wonder if I started living like others both who I know or have read about if my parents would realize how good they had it when I was living my standards!-MOPS
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Happy New Year!
Hello! I have some friends who are serving a mission in Madagascar and they are inspiring me to work more often on this blog. I really have nothing to say except that I was moved into a group home called Loma Residential. For the first time in my life since I lived with family, I'm living with a male. Some how I'm the only one who thinks this is odd. Talk about strange.
Saturday I went bowling and the highest score that I got was a 71! WaHOO!
Tonight I got to go to my Aunt Chris' house and eat dinner and also we got to watch the CES fireside President Monson spoke at tonight at BYU. It was so good. I think the world of President Monson.
Recently I have really been having a hard time and I really need to work on reorganizing some things in my life. I have a lot to do, but I guess we all do.
Tonight President Monson talked a lot about "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens. I think Im going to go to the library tomorrow and check it out. It sounds like a good book. I've heard Dickens was a great author, I've probably read him before. I think I'm also going to check out some Wadsworth. It seems like President Monson is always quoting Wadsworth or Longfellow, along with the scriptures of course.
I also think I'm going to see if I can act as a volunteer at the SDSU institute. We'll see.
Love you! Until later, MOPS
Saturday I went bowling and the highest score that I got was a 71! WaHOO!
Tonight I got to go to my Aunt Chris' house and eat dinner and also we got to watch the CES fireside President Monson spoke at tonight at BYU. It was so good. I think the world of President Monson.
Recently I have really been having a hard time and I really need to work on reorganizing some things in my life. I have a lot to do, but I guess we all do.
Tonight President Monson talked a lot about "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens. I think Im going to go to the library tomorrow and check it out. It sounds like a good book. I've heard Dickens was a great author, I've probably read him before. I think I'm also going to check out some Wadsworth. It seems like President Monson is always quoting Wadsworth or Longfellow, along with the scriptures of course.
I also think I'm going to see if I can act as a volunteer at the SDSU institute. We'll see.
Love you! Until later, MOPS
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