going to New York

I am so excited to go to NY! I am scared out of my goard to go to NY! I finally get to go and see my brother and his family for the first time in over a year. But I have to meet my brother at a bus station next to Grand Central Station. I am not sure where he is going to be, where I am going to be, what the weather is going to be like and where I could be headed. Other than that, I am so excited to go. I am a little stressed. I mean, I've never been there before and I hope that I don't freak out. I have been pretty stable for the past month, but with the added stress of all the unknowns, I am a little worried. I have to keep it together though. I must! My paranoia has ben acting up and all I need to do is freak out about the people taking notes on me and then I will be headed in the wrong direction. I must stay focused and just enjoy myself. Yippee! I am going to New York!
-MOPS

Have a hard day? It's your illness!

You know I have often wondered what people who don't have bipolar disorder do when faced with a mood swing. I mean, if I start crying after a hard day, my family just blames it on my illness and moves on. What's up with that? Am I not allowed to have feelings? Or are my feelings not valid because I have a mental disorder? I mean one day I called my mom because I was having a really hard day and she started freaking out because I was crying. My mom hung up on me and called the crisis line who in turn called the police and then I had to explain to them that I was just having a hard day and that no I was not suicidal---just having a hard day. Why are people who have no disclosed disorder allowed to have bad days and people like me who are diagnosed with a disorder, not allowed to express their feelings? Strange.
-MOPS